I love black thongs
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
