Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
