I cockslap morals
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
