i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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