Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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