textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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