I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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