If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
