I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
