I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Randomize
