ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
