they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
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