Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
