got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Randomize