Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
the liver wants what the liver wants
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
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