At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
