I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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