My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
