Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
