Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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