just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
