i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
