Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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