the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
