are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
