You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
You brought string cheese to the strip club
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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