my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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