Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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