Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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