Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize