i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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