Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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