just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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