i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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