butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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