So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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