We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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