Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Randomize