we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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