How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
