A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
