so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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