So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
