He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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