That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
