She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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