Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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