You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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