things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
being pregnant is like rehab
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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