I can text with my tongue
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
