you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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