goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
So gin and wine won't be happening again
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
