on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Randomize
