You work out of a Hotel?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
