I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
