he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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