No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I see more hoeing in ur future
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