I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
