so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Mom said you looked used
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
