I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize