OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
